In certain cultures, divorce is ritualised, with certain words and actions carried out to initiate the divorce. It can leave a hollow feeling inside when a Registrar who knows nothing of us proclaims the divorce. A separation ceremony empowers you to embrace your new life and new identity as a single person. Even some churches now recognise the need to hold this ceremony.
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  What does a separation ceremony involve?
Releasing the past; embracing the present - creating space for the new to come into your life. Connecting with people who will lend you healthy support. Providing you with some symbol or token from which to draw strength and comfort as you come to terms with the transition - see rituals below. Affirming you as a person, complete and whole, not as one-half of a relationship. Reclaiming your name (men and women may have changed their name when married). Affirming your relationship with yourself - becoming your own best friend and nurturing yourself through this transition time. Acknowledging what you gained from the relationship - this may be personal qualities, or friends, or children, or new interests or skills that you would not have but for the relationship. If possible, both partners participate in the ceremony. If your ex-partner does not wish to do this, it is helpful and healing for you to hold your own ceremony with close family and friends. |
The ceremony is not a time for focusing on the shortcomings of your ex-partner, or a time for performing rituals that are negative and likely to increase conflict |
Use of ritual and participation by friends
Friends may support you by coming into the ceremony with stories about you, about your kindness or your humour or the other qualities they value in you, to affirm that you have worth outside of the ending or ended relationship. You may find that carrying out certain rituals for a prescribed number of days may give strength to the effect of the ceremony. You may choose candle ceremonies and use smudging and bells to clear the energy if you remain in the house shared by you and your ex-partner, You may find that using flower essences or other vibrational remedies may assist you to embrace this transition as well. If a female, it may be a time for you to reconnect with your feminine energy and female friends; and if a male, with your masculine energy and male friends. Whatever rituals and participation you choose, it should enrich your ceremony, provide comfort and empower you to step from your past into your present, it should allow you to accept your present situation and introduce you to the joys of being single! |
Some ideas for ceremony: reverse ring exchange, adding gems to wedding rings to symbolise a new life, taking an oath of friendship in place of the vows of marriage. |
Heart2heart Ceremonies...for your heart and soul 
